Hoo Haa India

Indian team arrives at the carribean. They all sing 'ulalala ole o' ulaalalala leyo'. In the ecstasy of trying to pronounce 'leyo' 'leyo' 'leyo', they start laying more eggs on the ground. Quack! Quack! Back to the pavilion. So the frustrated BCCI, picks up a brand new team for the rest of the world cup. Look at the replacements below,

Sehwag - Ajith Kumar
Sachin - Kamalhassan
Dravid - Captain Vijaykanth
Laxman - Vikram
Yuvraj - Simbu
Kaif - Dhanush
Dhoni - Rajnikanth
Pathan - Surya
Agarkar - vadivelu
Harbhajan - Navarasa nayagan Karthik
Sreesanth - Vijay

Alas! India lose the match with this line up too. After the match, the interview starts...

1. Ajith, they keep the third man just as an open bait for you. But you keep hitting back-cuts again and again to find the fielder. why?

Ajith: Yey, ennna pesura...konnnuduven...naan yaar theriyumla?? Thala! ela ratham! ethana dhadava fielder vachalum naan adipen. Sixer pora varikum naan adipen, wait and watch, Thala will make a come back and hit a six!!!

2. Mr Kamal, You are in poor form, but people are starting to doubt your class! is it true?

Kamal: Well, to start with, ingu amardhirukkum amirthasorubee Mr. Geoffrey Boycott avargale, Form is temporary, class is permanent enginra saying ungalukku theriyum enra my belief will save me. So dont worry, Indhiyargal jeyiparrrrgal, adharku neengal ungalodaya motivationai engalukku kodukaa vendum enru....(doesnt stop)

3. Enna captain, When the team needed you, you have gone to bench under the name of injury! what happened?

Vijaykanth: Hoiyee! Wine sopla sarakku adichu adi vaangaradhum, country warla gundu pattu adi vaangaradhum vera vera. Naan indha world cup jeichu, andha cupla sarakku adikama oyamattenda, annn!!!

4. Vikram sir, seems you are playing only once in a year. why? is there any problem with selction team??

Vikram: Manasuu, valikudhu... Selection teamla, ellarum okkandhukitu maathi maathi paen paakaranga!!

5. Simbu, People say you are a boy 'playing' off the ground?? Where are the runs on the ground?

Simbu: Neenga paathinganna, indha simbu eppa edha pannalum kutham solradhu neengadhan. Ana, makkal TV paakaranga. Avangaluku theriyum, yaaruku talent irukkunu...(whish, whush, pish, pish)

6. Enna Dhanush sir, Why arent you scroing big runs??

Dhanush: Modhalla poi oru kalyanatha pannuda! Dhanush talks to himself, "kadavul irukuuran Kumaru!"

7. Rajni sir, when is your next century?? your entertainment value is enthralling us!!

Rajni: Kanna, onnu therinjuko! Nee thinra arisi onakkaga velanjadhu. Adhanala, enniki adichalum nee adika pora 100 run onnodadhu..kelvi kekadha...jujubee...matcha paaru...varta!!

8. Mr Surya, seems your ad fame is growing?? Where are the runs?

Surya: Illa sir, enaku ad fame mattumdhan iruku...ana sothikavuku peravaiye iruku...sothika..sothika

9. Vadivelu Sir, evalavu kevalama adichalum ,why do they pick you in the team??

Vadivelu: Aaaga!! iyo..iyo...batsman ninnu solranpa...ivan eppadi potalum wicket edukka maatan...ivan romba nallavanu sollitanpa...

10. Karthik, you try too much in politics and religion, why cant you bowl well??

Karthik: Naanum...vandhu...naanum... illa...evalavo..try panren...off spin, leg spin, pandhu..poi...maatengudhu..enna sollunga panlam...

11. Vijay, you seem to dance more on the pitch than bowl??? how you manage this??

Vijay: Naa..enna naa solreenga??? pandhu po maatengudhu naa...adhuku poi ippadi solreeenganaaa...

In spite of India losing world cup, the sponsors book them for more contracts...Thats the beauty of Indian Cricket....It's a mix of emotions, star value, godliness, religion and what else... Money.

Soap, Soap, Soap everywhere

ARE ALL INDIAN ENTERTAINMENT CHANNELS GOING DOWN THE DRAIN???

Prime Time Plight???

What is it with the mega serials? Channels like Sun, Jaya, Star gold, Sony, Zee don't even attempt to telecast programmes with some innovation, creativity and striking humor. Whenever a poor soul lounges before TV seeking some good entertainment, all they show is Two-scene-five-break-to-be-continued kind of mega-serials. In that 15 minute- running time, characters weep for 5 minutes, crib for 5 minutes, hug each other and then weep again for 5 minutes.

Preferred threadlines - Woman power, Male chauvinism, Love failure, Joint family splitting up. Is that it? Isn't there anything else in this world?

Target Audience - Suppressed people in order to make them more pessimistic.

Lead actress in that serial - Yesteryear 'star' currently 'marketless'

Writer's block is spreading like a brushfire in our country. Weaving the junk stories has gained more priority than anything else. Money-making motive drops over every creator's eye. People have started selling more smoke than substance. I have seen soap flicks like Santa Barbara, Bold and Beautiful but western channels are more diversified and genre-based. They have channels for each kind like movies, soaps, humor, action, cartoon and adventure. So the choice is yours. Indian channels are more like a potboiler!

Being an Indian, I have to say that I am terribly disappointed with Sun tv which sprung up like a whirlwind 12 years back. Today, it is one of the most popular channels running ahead of it's competitors around the world. But steriotype has invaded this channel in course of time. While the quality of transmission gets overwhelming, the quality of programmes goes on degrading. Too much dependency on soap serials keeps sucking out the humor sense hidden in every watcher's mind.

Melodrama is a part of life but they spread the feeling that sadness is the only thing encircling human life. With the kind of revenue these channels generate, it is quite affordable for them to invest some risk in showing creativity. Exploitation of primetime of supressed men and women shouldn't be there prime target. They run a long way with prejudice that home-staying spouses prefer only melodrama and junk-weaving. Long way, I mean like 1000 episodes of "Aracha maavu". They even repeat the mega-serials on a daily basis after midnight to capture the desi viewers living abroad.

Some channels even show 'rainy-print' movies worth a kilogram of onions. Gosh! where is the entertaining spirit??? As an ardent humor seeker, I would love these prime channels to reduce junk, soapy melodramas and enlighten the viewers with some humor, innovation and non-cliched ideas.

However, on the other side there is some solace. Comedy scenes from movies, Performance shows like 'kalakka povadhu yaaru', Spoofs like 'Lollu sabha', Debates like 'Neeya Naana' are comparatively new and innovative to tamil audience. Even though most of these programmes are just emulation of western programmes they are good and watchable.

Please! No more soap! It's getting way too slippery.

I sincerely hope that tamil channels like Sun network, Jaya, Vijay can take the initiative to come up with some creative shows in the future. If not them, then who?

Just to point out a personal factfile, the only tamil series that ever touched my strings is Marma Desam by Naga. That was truly a great attempt!!

.....Infinity.....

When in primary school, we used to have endless verbal wars.

Two kids scorning each other like,,,
1. Idiot
2. Its you! Idiot 2 times
1. You! idiot 3 times
2. You only! idiot 4 times
1. Nah! you idiot infinity times
2. He he, you are an idiot (Infinity+1) times..

What is infinity? I didnt want any complex answers that would give me INFINITE confusions. I had always had a doubt in the maths class. "Is infinity something whose limits/boundary we cannot see? or Is infinity something which has no limits at all?" Whatever, after that, I decided not to ask questions anymore.

My interpretation: Infinity is always a bit far from one's reach (one can only tend to infinity but not acheive it).

My conclusion: In a software firm, if grading is a performance measure then receiving the highest grade is certainly infinity (oops, forgive me for the oxymoron).

Tinkle Tinkle Little Star

Comics never spare anyone. Be it even Sheldon or Ayn Rand or Archer or Blyton. It would have certainly kick-started the nascent imaginations in their early childhood. Comics are typically the cult favorites for any kid crawling about the size of a cricket bat. For me, it was Tinkle.

Tinkle in three words - Simple, Colorful and Ecstatic!

I remember those days when I used to grab 10 bucks from my father for those paper-thin tinkle editions sold in the central station. Tinkle Digests served me better for the entire journey, in fact. More than the stories, it's the expression of those characters that drew my imagination wild. I do relive those dotted moments of trying to re-draw the tinkle characters on the moving -train-upper-berth, ducking close to the rusty ceiling fan.

Why not? Long nosed Suppandi, Dimwit Shikari, Ram & Shyam, Anwar, Mooshik...still live through the current age of 3-D animated characters. Those cute moral stories in the initial pages always had injected a childlike wit inside me. This cult comic is the one of the greatest memoirs of my childhood!!

Tinkle - The simplestest version of storytelling, period.

Up Raisal

Appraisal time!

This is the time an employee is made to understand what a loser he/she has been for the last 6 months. Well, in a nutshell, it is quite a waste of time.

I found the above interesting cartoon from http://cagle.msnbc.com/

With relevance to the above cartoon, in the tamil movie Pudhupettai, there is a diologue delivered by smooth-talking politician to the angry Kokki Kumar. It goes like this, "Naan mathavana Ethi vittu Azhagu paakaravanda! Kaalla vizhu, Kaalla vizhu Kumaru, Kaalla Vizhu!!"

Can you guess who is at the lower end of see-saw? It is of course the 'Business Need'. You (the appraisee) are always on the top (doesnt mean you are ranked top). It may imply that you just weigh 21 grams. You can be lifted off easily.

Thumb rule: Management always wins. But, hey! Is there a fight first of all????