
This has always been a true story, I swear on the heat of chennai.
Believe me, when Ayn rand wrote this,
"The question isn't who's going to let me; it's who's going to stop me"
She would have never even thought of penning this philosophy for Chennai 'Autokarans'.
I had a converation with an Autokaran while going home once:
I: Saligramam poganum
Autokaran: Evalo kudupeenga?? (it means he doesnt have the slightest idea of where saligramam is)
I: It's 7 Kms. 50 rupees!
Autokaran: Enna Saar solreenga?? 90 rupees aagum (Now he showcases he really knows where saligramam is)
I: 60 rupees
Autokaran: 80 rupees
I: No, 70 is final...
Autokaran: Pathuruva paakadheenga saar!!!
I: No, rate has to be fixed for fair. 70 is final
Autokaran: Enna saar??? Paakradhukku shoka irukeenga. Pathuruva paakadheenga, erunga. (Now he has flattered me using his poverty level. So I get in for 80 rs. First round, he won)
I: 80 rs, for 7 kms...traffic illa...why do u charge so much?? (He takes out Nokia6600 - now, speaking of poverty!)
Autokaran: Saar! Suthi suthi ponum saar! road mosama irukku....pertrol selavaagum (He has created petrol-price awareness to me now)
I: Meter podradhu illa, apparam edhukku indha dabba??
Autokaran: Ha ha ha ho ho ho hee, enna saar?? are you in 1980's??? (He is amazed as if its a crime to put meter)
I: Appo, 1980's la auto drivers ellam ozhukamanavunganu othukiriya???
Autokaran: Saar, ongalakku, kaalam theriyila?? (An excuse to align with the trend which only these guys created for their convenience. Second round, he won)
I: Why do you take this worse shortcut-road?? My back is paining.
Autokaran: Saar! Suthi pona, pathuruva extra aagum. Neenga saligramamnu solli engengeyo poga solreenga!! (Now he's talking)
I: See, naan comfortabla ponum...go in a proper road...80 rs is final.
Autokaran: Onga souriyathukkulam auto varaadhu saar. Enga souriyathukudhan ottuvom (Their philosophy at its peak, third round he won)
I: Indhanga 100 rs..balance??
Autokaran: Chillra illaya saar?? (setting another trap)
I: No. andha kadayila poi maathitu kudunga.
Autokaran: anga illa saar, indha sandhulalam chillra kedaikadhu, main road dhan ponum. (I still cant understand)
I: Ok, ponga. Naan autokulladhane irukken??
Autokaran: Main road piotu thirumbeelam vara maaten saar, neenga nadandhu dhan varanum..else extra 10 rupees aagum.
I: aha, wait..(I went to that maligai kadai and bought one krackjack buiscuit packet for change)
Autokaran won the final round as well. I spent 90 rupees which was exactly the same amount he asked for.
To counter these autokarans, there is a technique. I will quote another tiny incident that happened in OMR. I took an auto to go to Madhya Kailash. He charged me 100 rupees. Another IT guy got a lift from CTS. I didnt accept but the autokaran let him in. After the IT guy got down at Tidel Park (after seeing his girlfriend in CTS), he gave that beautiful 5 rupee coin to our Autokaran (thniking it's a Share Auto). Autokaran signaled 50 rupees. That guy started shouting in urdu or something like Bahamese - "oklahama siniko pathe chaliro omaga seeya tho paanch rupya hena??"
Autokaran showed him a big salute!!! Aana namma kitta ----"Noooorrruva aagum saar!!!"
In chennai, there are always two problems
1. Heat
2. Autokaran
Which takes the first place --- you can always decide!!!